“That’s him,” I said, and motioned with my chin towards the approaching wave of newly-arrived travelers flowing through the airport’s exit-checkpoint.
“You sure?” The news photographer picked up his bulky camera and hefted it to his shoulder.
The handsome, twenty-something lead singer looked a little different than the picture on his band’s website, but I was sure. “Yeah, that’s him.” I gripped the mic, which was as long as my forearm, to my side and walked down the airport concourse. I put on my sweetest smile, tilted my head, and made eye-contact. “Hi, are you Joseph?”
His eyebrows rose, then furrowed. “Yeah?”
“I’m Alisa, from News Channel 9. I know that what you’ve been through is rough, but I was hoping that you’d answer a few questions for me.” In my peripheral vision, I noticed two other photographers and their reporters follow my lead. I only had a few seconds before the feeding frenzy began.
Joseph didn’t slow his pace, but he didn’t speed up either. He shrugged, then saw the exit to the street and headed in that direction. Two other members from his band appeared behind us, and followed. When we reached the door, to my surprise, Joseph opened it for me. My sympathy for him tripled as the other photographers and reporters descended and encased us, and his fellow band members escaped to get a cab. I lifted my mic and held it just below Joseph’s chin.
The Difference Between an Introvert and a Wallflower
An hour prior to this, as the newsroom buzzed around me, I hunched over my computer keyboard and wrote scripts for the evening newscast. “Hey.” Jeremy, a producer who sat nearby, addressed me without looking up from his computer screen. “You know that nightclub fire on the east coast?”
I winced. The details were haunting. “Yeah.”
“A local band was there that night. They’re supposed to fly back tonight. Can you find them?”
I could find anyone. Researching was my strength. It took me a few moments. “Okay I found them, and their flight number. I’ll send it to—“
“No, I need you to go.” Jeremy scowled and brought his finger down on his keyboard with a loud clack.
“Oh. But I’m not—“
“It’ll be a good experience for you, since you’re new. Plus,” Jeremy sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses, then squinted at his screen again, “all my reporters are out on other assignments. Just ask one good question that can’t be answered with a yes or a no, okay?”
This was not my cup of tea, to say the least. Though I liked the excitement of being out in the field, I preferred researching and writing at my desk. My training as a reporter consisted of a brief tutoring session in a sound booth, administered by a kind-hearted first-year reporter, and a handful of other awkward instances. I did not aim to break into “the biz”.
As I wondered what it would be like to stand in front of a live camera, I flinched. I had never felt comfortable with that type of attention. Crowds, even a large group of my own family, always made me feel quiet and reserved. In high school, I enjoyed socializing and I daydreamed about being noticed (in a good way) by the popular crowd, but in reality I was content with my few close friends on the fringes of the social scene. At the end of each day, I needed time to recoup my mental and emotional energies — a need that remained true for me throughout college. To me, the word ‘extrovert’ was synonymous with ‘popular’ and ‘introvert’ with ‘brainy’ or ‘wallflower’ — none of which described me.
My Own Top 3 Enabling Strategies for Introverts
Before I wrote this article, I wondered if personality types were real, or if they were just labels that we gained comfort from by categorizing ourselves and others into neat little boxes. There has been a new wave of interest in introversion created by Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts, and (in my opinion) the rise in popularity of silicon-valley techies who pride themselves on their eccentric personalities. I wondered: How can two personality types typify everyone? When someone said they were an “ambi-vert,” or a mixture of introvert and extrovert, didn’t that just mean that they were normal? Also, I was, and still am, wary of any additional ways that make it easy for us to separate ourselves into differing camps.
That being said, if I am an introvert, I want to be a self-aware introvert, especially at work. I found a helpful article on VeryWellMind.com by Kendra Cherry, author of The Everything Psychology Book. I learned that introversion and extroversion are two ends of a spectrum, and that most people (i.e. ‘ambiverts,’ or 70% of people, per Ms Cherry), land somewhere in the middle. I land close to the spectrum’s introvert-end, according to the telling traits for introverts that Ms Cherry outlines. But, unlike true introverts, I don’t mind small-talk or face-to-face networking. So, if I were to categorize myself, I would label myself as a “skeptical introvert”, or an introvert with a reluctance to be labeled and a tolerance for certain limited extroverted activities.
I wish I had known this about myself years ago, and early in my career. Another article that I found helpful was “Introverts in the Office: How to Work Well in an Extrovert’s World” by Hope Bordeaux. Ms Bordeaux sat down with Susan Cain, author of the aforementioned Quiet, to learn about the strategies which introverts can use to survive and thrive at work. I’m happy to report that Ms Cain’s thoughts resonate with my own top 3 enabling strategies for introverts:
- Know thyself, and love thyself. Be curious about your personality. If you suspect that you may be an introvert, find reliable sources of information and confirm your suspicions. Then, introvert or not, embrace your tendencies. However, don’t let the identity completely define you, or isolate you. We are all more alike than we are different.
- Find time to physically recharge, every day. Exercise, for me, is the ideal way to recharge my energy. Each day, I get outside and walk for half an hour on my lunch break. I also do a combination of strengthening stretches and barre work, almost every day. When I move my body, especially outside and in nature, it reconnects me with my internal rhythm.
- Write it all out. I am amazed by the restorative power of writing things down. I made it a habit to write a to-do list for the next day before I go to bed, or a list of items I accomplished, or to write in a journal about an issue that otherwise would keep me up all night. Whatever personal or work-related item you can’t stop thinking about — write it all out, in a free, non-self-editing way.
Self-Awareness Leads to Compassion and Poise at Work
When I worked for the news station in my early twenties, I thought that I was destined to be a social misfit — awkward where others were smooth, and reserved when others were outgoing. I had yet to develop self-awareness and enabling strategies. Outside the airport, I wondered what I was doing there, in the middle of a media scrum. I found myself sandwiched between two rival news photographers with my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth. I felt like an unwilling member of a group of vultures, as Joseph answered questions like, Did you try to save anyone? How did you get out? What do you think caused the fire? All I could do was hold the microphone, and catch Joseph’s every word, until Joseph’s band members reappeared on the curb inside a cab and yelled for him to get in.
If I had the chance to do it again, with self-awareness and enabled poise, this would be my question to Joseph:
“Our community wants you to know that we are sorry for what you’ve experienced. What can our viewers do to help you and your band members get through this?”
Now I know that curiosity and self-awareness, paired with activities that strengthen your energy reserves, can lead you to compassion and poise at work. What’s more, you can gain the ability to ask enlightened questions that fuel the compassion in others.